Saturday, March 27, 2010

A Theatrical Year: Post Mortem Part 3

I would give this another semi-colon title, Committing to the Groundlings, to play on both the post mortem and the Groundlings themes of the blog, but since I have about two or three already, I don't really want to have title overkill. I thought it I would have the Groundlings post mortem today since today was my last Groundlings class ever, at least the last one I can pay for.

As some of you may know, Groundlings is the high school drama program at the Cincinnati Shakespeare Company; Groundlings is an ensemble building program that culiminates in, shocker, a performance of a Shakespeare show. I am going to break my own rules here with not going before July 2009, as this is not just a post mortem for the year but for my Groundlings experience.

I met Jeremy at Ashland University for an Ohio Summer Honors course in comedy sports. I was misled in the fact that not only was this a course in improvisation but Shakespeare. Now, I had just finished freshman english, in which the class read A Midsummer Night's Dream...which was taught piss poorly, so naturally my perception of Shakespeare was skewed in a rather negative direction. So I was less than pleased that I would be working with Shakespearean text and I was given a scene from William Shakespeare's Macbeth, it was a fun scene but nothing spectacular. What really changed my perception was there was a scene from A Midsummer Night's Dream, which was absolutely hilarious, still some of the funniest Shakespeare I have ever seen. Jeremy is an Artistic Associate at Cincinnati Shakespeare Company as well as an ensemble member there, which explains his expertise in the field.

Jump two years later, I decide to join Groundlings at the pestering of my friend Ali Y, which I thank her for. I met some really great people there who I hope to keep in contact with during and after the summer. The first semester is what I generally liked: improvisation, acting exercises, text work, and cold reads. With each I learned a little bit more about myself as an actor as well as the other members of the class. The second semester is when we start the rehearsals for the final performances. My first year it was Julius Caesar and my second year it was The Hamlet Project.

Julius Caesar was extremely interesting considering when the day casting decisions were made, I was given the role of the man himself. Of course, I learned that Caesar is more of a supporting character in the play, makes sense as he *spoilers* he dies halfway through the play. This role was still a big deal for me, considering that Caesar is contained, in control, and an imposing figure...three things that many would say are not my primary traits. I did everything I could, with the help of our director Justin, to embody and transform myself in Caesar: deepen my voice, stand taller and broader, walk with purpose and stride, and to quiet my talkative hands. I'm still unsure of how to feel about this role aside from my death and my ghost scene, which both really kicked ass. Where I am unsure of is during the other scenes, I loved my lines, I had a really great monologue right before my death but I felt like I was simply saying the words rather than putting life into the lines. Also I didn't really get too much praise, to be expected considering the majority of praise was being heaped upon our Brutus, Cassius, and Marc Antony, which makes sense as they are the main focus of the play and the actresses playing each of them were phenomenal.

Jumping to the fall of the next year; I'll do a camp retrospective when camp has come and gone. I was there for the majority of the fall semester dates but my main focus was on the behemoth that was Epic Proportions. So Groundlings was more of an escape from my overarching stress. There was a change in the format this year in terms of the performances where instead of full plays, we performed "projects." These projects were either a selection of scenes from multiple plays or an abbreviated play. The Hamlet Project, was the latter. In The Hamlet Project I played Claudius, my first villain role. Here's where things got complicated, a lot of my saturdays, the day groundlings meets, I was either auditioning for colleges or working towards my Eagle. So I missed A LOT of rehearsals, to the point where my director said that one of the group pieces would become my own soliloquy. Granted this meant more personal stage time for me, but I felt bad that I was really letting the group down by not being there. So for the last four rehearsals, I kicked into high gear. Our director let me go a good deal over-the-top with the role, to the point I actually laughed maniacally at one point. The result, from my own personal opinion and some of the accolades I put it bluntly, I kicked ass! Not only did I really feel good about the role but I received some really great genuine compliments. It's fairly easy to tell when some when is saying "good job" (here's a participation badge) and "really great work/you're awesome/I love you," (sincerity). Last year was the "good job," and this year was the latter. You can see for yourself(, start at 3:07 and you can see my whole soliloquy. I think this is my best Shakespearean performance so far.

I think over the course of the four years Jeremy has been my teacher, I have really grown as an actor in terms of my abilities in Shakespearean text and as a result, contemporary drama. I think Groundlings really gave me a great environment to really explore my facets as an actor. I could not have done this without the tremendous ensemble: Katie, Daniel, David, Callie, Margaret, Ali, Sarah, Mattea, Katherine, Carmel, Murray, Rosie, the list goes on and on. I also felt that I didn't need to censor myself in terms of my energy and my passion. At school, people see me a bit more under control, more of a quiet intellectual who monitors what he says and does. At Groundlings, I am an unbridled ball of energy and it is awesome. I just hope that I can apply this energy to my time in college theatre.

"But if the while, I think on thee, dear friend/ All losses are restored, and sorrows end." Sonnet 30, William Shakespeare

Friday, March 26, 2010

Going for the Gold

I want to take a break from my theatrical reflective to something that's being plaguing my mind for the past couple of days. This past week has been my spring break and since A)My family doesn't travel and B)I still don't drive, I have been spending the time watching some of this year's Oscar contenders. I watched Inglourious Basterds, The Hurt Locker, and Up in the Air. I also found these really well made videos on youtube with all the Oscar winners in the major categories ( I would definitely check them out. If you haven't guessed, I'm short of on an Oscar binge. I know that it's cliche, presumptuous, idealistic, and all those other adjectives, but I would like to someday win an Oscar. *cue the eyerolls and groans from a couple of my readers*

I mean think about it, there are some of the greatest screen actors ever honored with that gold statuette and are sometimes forever remembered...or in a great deal of cases lost to time. From Spencer Tracy to Tom Hanks, from Jack Lemmon to Kevin Spacey. Actors who I admire and on day aspire to be like in terms of talent. Now, I'm not saying my acting career and my life would be a failure without an Oscar, believe it or not, I am not that petty. There are several great actors who have come and gone who have never received recognition let alone a nomination or an Oscar win. I simply aspire to one day reach that level, as most actors do.

This type of aspiration gets me to wonder, "What would I win for?" Would it be for a character who is mentally disabled: Dustin Hoffman for Rain Man, Tom Hanks for Forrest Gump, Daniel Day-Lewis for My Left Foot? Or would it be for playing a classic villian: Michael Douglas for Wall Street, Anthony Hopkins for The Silence of the Lambs, Heath Ledger for The Dark Knight, Christoph Waltz Inglourious Basterds. I have played roles of that kind with Georgie from Over the Tavern and Claudius in The Hamlet Project. Granted my performances are eons away from that level of commitment, talent, and skill.

Yet, Oscars sometimes will honor an a great actor, but often for a role that most people will forget in favor of a more memorable performance. Recent example, Jeff Bridges to me, is and probably will always be the Dude from The Big Lebowski, even though he just won an Oscar for Crazy Heart. Jimmy Stewart, who has given some truly great screen performances both under the direction of Frank Capra and Alfred Hitchcock won his Oscar not for his fantastic dramatic turns in Mr. Smith Goes to Washington or Rear Window but for The Philadelphia Story. It may be a great comedic performance, I wouldn't know, I slept through most of the movie, but it isn't Stewart's finest performance. Sometimes the Oscar is should just come with a note saying, "We're sorry for overlooking you before."

Even if by some small chance, I do make it to the big leagues, would I become one of those actors who has a great body of work but is never even recognized with a nomination, let alone a win. My first example being Gary Oldman, who has given some great work including recent work as Sirius Black in the Harry Potter movies and Commissioner Gordon in the Batman movies as well as great Oscar bait performances as Rozencrantz in Rozencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead, Lee Harvey Oswald in JFK, and Sid Vicious in Sid and Nancy. However, he has not been nominated a single time by the Academy. Granted I haven't seen his portrayal of Sid Vicious so I cannot say if he truly deserves the praise he gets for the role. Yet still, a lot of actors cite Gary Oldman as an influence in their acting careers; actors such as Brad Pitt, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, and Johnny Depp all cite Oldman as one of their favorite actors.

Or perhaps one of my favorite character actors, John Turturro, who has on average been in at least two films a year since 1980. A lot of non-theatre folk may know him as annoying FBI agent in the Transformers movies or as Ambrose Monk on Monk, but his career also includes several Oscar-worthy roles and films. He has done films with Spike Lee in Do the Right Thing and the Coen Brothers in The Big Lebowski. Recently, I saw the movie Quiz Show, a fantastic film by Robert Redford, where he plays Herb Stempel and it is nothing like any of his other roles. In most of his other movies, Turturro is a deep-voiced Southern/Brooklyn American who is easily becomes a shouty mad-fucker.

In Quiz Show, Turturro played Herb Stempel, who is a fast-talking, squeeky-voiced, walking encyclopedia who is a rather desperate man but you can't help but like him for some reason. Quiz Show did receive a nomination for Best Supporting Actor, only it went to the veteran Paul Scofield. Granted a nomination that year would not have guaranteed a win as Turturro would have been up against Martin Landau for Ed Wood, Samuel L. Jackson for Pulp Fiction, and Gary Sinise for Forrest Gump, each of which are truly memorable performances. In the end, some actors just get ignored by the Academy entirely.

I know that having the dream of one day winning an Oscar is a pipe dream and it is a one-in-a-million shot especially when you're a pasty ginger kid from Cincinnati. Yet there is some part of me, that despite this fact, still holds out hope and still in the back of my mind, slowly crafts an acceptance speech with a list of every person I would thank. I know that there is a long, long, long way to go but I still hear that voice in the back of my head, "And the Oscar goes to...Nate Netzley, or John Michael Romero, or Nathaniel Beckett." I still haven't decided on a stage name.

*Unfortunately, I can't really control the size of the pictures, so John Turturro will more than likely take up half the page, just be glad it's not his ass like in Transformers 2.

Saturday, March 20, 2010

A Theatrical Year: Post Mortem Part 2

Alright a continuation on the themes of the last blog. Today we are going to cover my internship at Cincinnati Shakespeare Company and my directorial debut with the show Epic Proportions. Sadly I have no photos from my time at Cincy Shakes as I am very lazy when it comes to picture taking.

October 2009
Internship at Cincinnati Shakespeare Company
Thanks to my school, I was able to intern for forty-two hours over five days. There was a rush to get in all the needed hours, which Jeremy and Rebecca gratefully added on. I started on Wednesday around mid-day picking up brochures for their production of All's Well that Ends Well. That day was fairly uneventful for the most part as I was sticking labels on brochures and stuffing programs. However, I got to watch actors at work, doing everything under the sun to learn their lines, juggling, rehearsing with others, and just walking about. For one reason or another, the one thing I remember is Watson coming out with a whole bunch of flags and Sara's eyes lighting up and waving a flag about happily. I got the chance to hang out with Rebecca and Jeremy's fiance Kelly at the Canon Club, which is group devoted to reading the works of the Bard, every other month, much like seminar at Clark. I also got to interview Kelly about her experience as an actor and what that's like. I think one of my favorite moments with her was at the Canon Club when describing her character in All's Well that Ends Well: "She's just like that girl in college who steals your boyfriend because she claims shes pregnant...I have stories." The next couple of days was mostly watching rehearsals and sitting in on performances. I think Larson's "secret doughnuts" was a highlight and so was getting to sit in on the production meeting seeing all the different aspects of what was going on. That was pretty much the internship in a nutshell, I would have loved to have spent more time there but sadly my school only gave me a week or so time-frame. I'm hoping to come back for the summer...if they let me.

September-November 2009
Epic Proportions
Now this is the big one, I could write post after post after post about this show. What's odd is how far away it feels, it doesn't feel like its been four months, it feels like it's been a whole school year since the curtain rose and fell on the show that was Epic. This show was the most daunting thing I have ever taken on, a directorial debut and producing your first show will probably do that to you. I started out with an idea and a hope that I could start something that would last, my own personal senior gift. There were nights when I worried if I would ever even be able to get it off the ground, whether or not the costumes, the actors, the sets, the props would come together. This is when I remember a line from the movie Shakespeare in Love: "Strangely enough, it all turns out well." "How?" "I don't know, it's a mystery."

There were many points when this show could have fallen apart, when I could have given up. I think I wanted to prove something, not only that something like Epic could be done, but that I could do it. In my own selfish way, I wanted to show everyone at my school my talent, something that they really never saw, or chose not to see. I brought it close enough that to ignore it would be almost impossible. I also didn't give up because of the people who did believe in me: my parents, my theatre folk, and everyone how signed up for the project. I think it is time for acknowledgments!

Alex: You took on a lead role when you were far more comfortable with something in the background. Not only did you accept this role but you handled it so well, especially for your stage debut. I would have offered you the potato sack as a lasting memento of the show but sadly it was not mine to give. I wish you all the best in your writing efforts

Darwin: Even though there were moments I wished to punch you in the soul, especially when you were absent, you were there when I needed you to be. You really understood what I wanted to do with Shel and granted I might have been the only one laughing at that bit, you made me laugh and sometimes that can be extraordinary difficult. You have been a great friend and that's the most I can ever ask of you.

Molly: My dear Molly, thank you. You were my stage manager and granted you didn't fully understand what you job was but by God you did it. You were there almost every rehearsal, ready to lend a hand and no matter what you came in with a smile.

Bryan: I am so glad that Chris twisted your arm in order to get you to come audition. I know at times you were the group punching bag, it was all in good fun but you took it and always had a good attitude about it. You really started to get the character when you needed to and you brought aspects to him I hadn't thought about.

Jim: I gave you one of the most thankless parts of the show and you took it happily. I am glad you accepted your role, while there were times I could tell you were frustrated, you grinned and bared it. Thank you for dying as many times as you did.

Joe: You helped to get the sound design for the show where it needed to be. I know at times the concept of tech rehearsals and what not escaped you but you made up for it, you took a lot of cues and you nailed each and every one of them and without a doubt the show could not have happened without you.

Deanna: You were there for all three days of auditions and I am really glad you did. I could not have asked for a better Louis. You got the character and you just rocked the part.

Emily: Your Cochette was great and so was your Queen. I thank you for bringing the other guys with you on the final day of auditions. It saved the show.

Alexa: Thank you for coming, you are quite talented and you really showed versatility in your roles, I know with some of the roles I really pushed you out of your comfort zone and I'm glad you went along with it. I know I confused with my direction at times and I'm glad that despite your frustration you never got angry.

Ben: Why so sad my queen? My friends at and still love your delivery of that line. I know of the cast you had the least stage time, but for what you lacked in quantity you made up for in quality. I could not have asked for a better deadpan DeWitt.

Vince: I know you don't read this blog but thanks man, you saved my ass in terms of lights and sound. I'm sad to say I will not be going to your alma mater as I was given a rejection letter last month but I am glad that I got to work with you. You have to keep the theatre program alive at Clark, please try and keep what we started going.

The last week of the show was hectic with canceled rehearsals, no use of the stage, not having lights until the afternoon before the show went up, and cast members sick during the final rehearsals. However, it turned out so well and I could not have gotten there without you guys. That goes for the people in the audience as well. Everyone who turned out, for the one night only show. From Katherine who came all the way from Ripley to my aunt and uncle who came from Indianapolis, from everyone in my senior class and all my senior teachers to my community theatre folk. I could not have asked for a better audience. From Jo laughing so hard she cried to Dan turning to me halfway through the show and giving me a nod of approval, which is no faint praise, it was, well, Epic. After the cast gave their bows, me being called up on stage and getting that standing ovation, still amazed that I had done it. In fact it still seems like a dream, like it almost never happened, but it did and I think that it was my own personal graduation. No matter what happened the rest of the year, no matter how many colleges I got rejected from, no matter how many times I questioned whether or not I was talented enough or driven enough to make it as an actor, I just look to my Epic binder. No matter how many rejections I have gotten or will get, I look at what I have achieved and I know that any dinky rejection letter cannot take that away from me. Cheesy, yes, true, yes.

Thursday, March 18, 2010

A Theatrical Year: Post Mortem Part 1

Last night I closed The Hamlet Project directed by the great Billy Chace. I think it was one of my best stage performances so far, despite its brevity and the infancy of my acting career. A few days ago I realized that after Hamlet I had no more shows lined up for the rest of the school year. I also realized that I had been going on a theatre marathon since late July with Romeo and Juliet at New Gate Celtic Theatre Company. At this point since there isn't anything more for me to audition for the rest of school year, I thought it would be appropriate for me to give a post mortem on the 2009-2010 theatre season for me. Sadly I am limiting myself to just July onwards so as much as I love Julius Caesar and Over the Tavern, they can't really be in this post. I think each of these will be pretty good size in length so I think I'll divide it into three or four parts. So let's get started

July-September 2009
Romeo and Juliet

This was my second paying gig in my illustrious nine year career and it was really a fun time. What really had me surprised off the bat about this show was about the people who were in the show were also alumni from some of the schools I was looking at. Colette was from Wright State, Rachel was from Evansville, Hannah was from Butler, and while I wasn't entirely interested at the time, Becky, Dooley, Rammi, and Mandy were all from Northern Kentucky University. I also got to be reunited onstage with my former stage mother, Kasmira (check out her blog I also got to met Dan Cohen, another fellow blogger (, Kasmira's boyfriend, and son of long time family friend Ed Cohen. The cast was truly a great one but the directors were top-notch too: Francis and Angela. Francis and Angela are grads of the Shakespeare program at Mary Baldwin college, a grad program I might want to look into, and it was great being able to learn even more about Shakespeare.

What I loved about this show was how great the feeling of ensemble was, minus the exceptional artistic differences but that's to be expected in any show. We all got along and there was a lot of great chemistry within the cast, I think as much as I was accepted, I was still on a different level than they were, probably to do with the fact that I was a minor but it wasn't a big deal. As example, during one of the last run-throughs, Jen, another castmate and alumni from parent's college, University of Dayton, brought in a party case of Smirnoff Ice. Being the responsible adults they were, I was not allowed to drink, not major as I don't drink but I felt left out that's all. Or another time during the first cast party at Rachel's house, she did not really want me at the party as a good deal of drinking would be occurring and she didn't want to have responsibility for me as I am a minor. I can respect her feeling that way, she is an older sister, that and I would be more of a hazard than anything else. Aside from that, I was in a fairly young show and it was a different experience from other shows I had done.

As for my characters, I had three: Sampson, Prince, and Peter. I feel certain ways about each of these performances. I think Peter was one of the best comic performances I have given, especially on the last night, when I had added one final gag in the scene in which the Nurse approaches Romeo about Juliet where I fall off the stage after laughing uncontrollably. I think it was a great clown character and I was glad to hear other people liked it as well. Sampson was a two note character, a a braggart and a coward...that's about it. I was given one of the best jokes of Romeo and Juliet, biting of the thumb, and it never really hit. My least favorite role was the Prince. The Prince was really out of my comfort zone as I had to command a room with my voice and my presence and I have not fully realized this talent quite yet. I have problems with stoic power figures like the Prince or Caesar, as I'm not used to being so still or so controlled. I think I can get this type of role if I have a few more swings at it. This show I think is the one that helped me to realize that I get trapped in my head too often and that I need to be more instinctive and more about the moment than anything else.

This was a great show but I think it was one of the lowest attended shows I did this year, I know that shouldn't matter but when it came to some of the comedic shtick, a larger crowd would have been nice. I think what I will miss about this show was the amount of playing around we could do in rehearsals, Francis and Angela let us explore first and then would bring their thoughts if needed. I also miss just being around the cast. I think this cast was so alive and so fun to be around. From the offstage talks and throwaway lines we all had to some onstage shenanigans including Dan bossing me around during the party scene getting him plums, cheese, and finally firing me on the final performance.

Writing this blog, I'm getting deep sighs and that empty feeling that one gets when something really great is over. I think it's just because I'm a very nostalgic guy, even if this nostalgia is going back only to September. I miss so much about this show and I wish that we could have done it longer or with larger crowds. I would really like to work with any of those folks again, in fact I worked with Kasmira and Dan again for Comic Potential, which will come in a later Post Mortem. As it looks like I'm going to NKU for college, as I have a full ride, I can still work with all of them.

Until next time.
-The Red-Headed Step-Child
PS I don't proof my blogs, as I am too lazy to do so, so for any grammar nazis out there, I could care less what you say, but I still love you.

Thursday, March 4, 2010

The day the dream died

Before I go on a melancholy bender, I would like to note that I have gotten my first blog follower: The One! Thank you very much!

Alright, this is a continuation of my blog on tuesday, "A Combination of Depression and Elation." I was hoping to let that one stand for a while but sadly, something came up, something that was much more depression than it was elation.

As some of you may know, about two weeks ago, I went on the University of Evansville road trip, which allows you to spend a weekend on the campus, get to know students, attend mock classes and activities, and so forth. I met up with a couple of people who I had met on Ace's Place: Nick and Sarah. Over the course of the weekend, we sang, we ran lines, we saw a show, we partied with other theatre folk at the frat house, and it all concluded in a Breakfast Club like scene in which I was Anthony Michael Hall, Sarah was Molly Ringwald, Quinn, who I meet in the last hours of the road trip, was our Judd Nelson, and Nick, who was not present at the time, was our Emilio Estevez, we did not have an Ally Sheedy though. I met two awesome guys, Jon and Sammy, who were my hosts. They were extremely nice and gave me a great insight into the program and the department. The show Light Up the Sky was fantastic and really proved that this was a great theatre department.

My audition came, I thought I did well, I thought I delivered my pieces well, I thought I had shown my love and drive for theatre, and dropped names of the Evansville grads I got to work with you I loved working with. I knew going in that any audition is a shot in the dark, but I thought I could shine in the interview and really showcase who I was.

Yesterday was shaping up to be a good day, easy classes, fun rehearsals, then I got a text from Sarah, she had gotten her letter from Evansville, she was wait-listed. I knew my letter probably would have come as well, which fueled the speculation in my mind. I was prepping myself for a fall, one which I knew would probably hurt a lot as Evansville had become my dream school and my top choice. I got home, found the letter on the stairwell post and opened. It wasn't an acceptance, it wasn't a wait-listing, it was a sheer and flat out rejection. I fell, I knew I was going to fall, and it still hurt like all hell. I had taken a shot in the dark and I think the bullet might have hit me.

I got to rehearsal for Comic Potential in a mood that was a mixture of depression and anger. Fellow castmate and blogger, Beefy Muchacho, realized my mood and consoled me. Beefy Muchacho had gone through the process about twelve years ago; he had been accepted to Evansville and went to Wright State. He was cut in his freshman year due to his issues on how to exactly cast him as his vocal range and his look heavily contrasted. He had a fall like I did, excepted his was higher and he didn't see it coming. He explained how lucky the people who get in are, that it comes down to luck but also it comes down to who they can cast and as he put jokingly, "There isn't much for the pasty ginger kid." I think my talk with him really helped.

I took today off from school, not only because I was sick, but also I think I needed to process this rejection from what had become my dream school. I realized that my hopes of getting to work with Sarah, Nick, Sammy, and Jon were kaput. I woke up from one of the best dreams I had ever had and realized just how much reality sucks in comparison with that dream.

Evansville was my dream school, my mentor and teacher, Jeremy Dubin, is an Evansville alumni and I hope to one day be as talented with him. If I am truly his student it won't be whether or not I go to his alma mater but whether I follow his philosophy; the words that are painted on the wall of the Cincinnati Shakespeare Company, attributed to Samuel Beckett: No Matter. Try Again. Fail Again. Fail Better. No matter where I go in terms of acting, my career will be filled with rejection, and I will find myself in this type of situation yet again but I think I'm slowly learning how to cope with the pain of it. Evansville is a great school and I wish the incoming class of theatre majors all the best. My path, it appears, either goes to Wright State or Northern Kentucky University. A path closer to home but it may still take me where I hope to go. I just know that no matter how many times I fall along this path, and I will fall plenty of times, that I need to keep the words of Samuel Beckett with me:
No Matter. Try Again. Fail Again. Fail Better.

Well sorry if I depressed you any but I needed to vent. Have a pleasant day, go see Comic Potential!

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

A combination of depression and elation

In less than three months, I will be done with high school...forever! My four years of high school were the four most mixed, in terms of good and bad, years of my life so far. In those four years, I have performed in eight shows, directed one, and won my first, and so far, only acting award. In that exact same amount of time, I have been on zero dates, took very few chances in terms of a social life, and of the parties where alchol was served, only two had people within two-three years of my age. Dramatically the years have been very rewarding, socially I didn't make a dent.

Two weeks ago, I visited the University of Evansville. I loved the campus, the people, the program, and the brief glimpse that I had of the cast parties. I plan to make up for the lost time, in terms of partying, when I get to college. I also had my audition/interview for the Evansville Department of Theatre, which overall I think went well. I could have said some things better in my interview and not wandered during my song. The week after that I attended a Master Class at Wright State and had my audition for the Acting program the next day. For no apparent reason, I was much more nervous for Wright State than I was Evansville, which is odd since Evansville has higher placing over Wright State for me.

The title of this blog entry is a lyric from the song "Tonight at Eight," from the musical She Loves Me. The song is about a nervous intellectual who has a date later that day with the girl of his dreams. The song has a nervous pace and fast lyrics that lend well to my style of performance. I used this song for my Wright State audition. I performed this piece first out of my three in order to expel most of my nervous energy.

I used this line specifically to state how I feel about going to college next year. Most of my classmates have been accepted into their top colleges and are already buying swag from said school. I, on the other hand, have to hold off buying such things as I have to wait and see what's going to happen. It's not that I don't have an ideal college, Evansville has pretty much cemented itself at the top of my list; its that everything is still up in the air. For Evansville, there are twenty spots for guys in the Theatre Performance major per year for the hundreds upon thousands of guys that audition for the program, I don't need to be Jo Guido to see that the odds are indeed against me. With Wright State, there are thirty-two acting spots, while it is the least popular of the two performance majors, my chances slim as now Wright State allows people to apply for Musical Theatre and Acting, so if people don't find their way into the Musical Theatre slot, there can take my potential spot in Acting. I am elated for the new chapter of my life that is about to begin but depressed over the fact that I might not go where I hope I would.

I know that as an actor, this is the reality I live in. It takes me to the highest states of ecstasy and deepest pits of depression. That auditions are mostly luck but still rely heavily on how I present myself. That coming out of college, I won't have steady work unlike some of my friends who are majoring in science, medicine, teaching, etc. This is the only life I could ever live. I could not imagine myself filing reports, attending conference meetings, or stuck in any form of square-shaped hell that is the typical office cubical. I know that if I am rejected from Evansville or Wright State, the story doesn't end there, my life doesn't go kaput. I have other options, there is more than one way to skin this cat called the career of acting. Besides, there is always NKU.